dialateIn revision for science, I have to memorise and remember all the things learnt for a test. I go over the conservation of energy as I realise something I wrote was wrong. You can’t create energy. “Energy is neither created nor destroyed”

I have been at a crossroads lately as I’m on ‘holiday’ and resting, thinking, reading, absorbing and lazing. Procrastination, loneliness, nostalgia, anger, annoyance, and others are all I whiz through my mind, about life and blog, then cool down by reading MR or bookmarking on LN-CC (To Trophy) and Uniqlo (To Buy). But in reading other blogs, flyingadolescent creeps into my mind and I churn ideas; what should I blog? What clothes do I want? What should I blog? What does this piece represent? What should I blog? Is this editorial to sexualised for a men’s magazine? What should I blog? It goes on like this until I want to talk about something, then this, or that and then end up doing nothing unable to decide or focus to write. ARRGH!

Tavi’s (farewell?) post presents to me, among many, many other things, a disruptive idea that I thought solved my problems.
“You can’t grasp your legacy when alive, and it makes no difference in death. What if I leave behind no record? What if I let every day vanish? If I don’t archive anything, am I free to change?”

Read: Why do I blog then?

Sent into an existential tailspin, only now I have come to some things that need doing to keep me sane and my blog alive and kicking:

  1. I focus too much on fluctuating events. It makes blogging difficult because of the speed of life now similar to the speed of light, and everything changes so what I say, or have said, is somewhere else. What is new will be old. Vice versa. A fixed point like a book, film, editorial, or craft I should introduce into my periphery for balance. Magazines and my blog slot somewhere in the middle…
  2. Go out AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Life is made of experiences, take a little leaf out of Hannah Horvath’s myopia and do stuff other than shopping/salivating.
  3. Fashion is not everything, and although it is extremely influential on how I think, more topics of interest need to be on here as a full representation of me. I love gadgets, and geek out a lot over CES.
  4. Write concisely, as possible. In direct conflict with Jian de Leon’s rant on #menswear (the only,  italic and underline, acceptable possible inclusion of a hashtag on a platform other than twitter) which I feel I preach through my often 1000-word plus verbosity. Yes, your ideas might be good, but writing a shitload does not  justify that sentiment. Reading over I realise what I write can be understood in less words.
  5. Mix it up more. I will write in more styles so I don’t get bored as I did on Thursday.

Ideas are neither created nor destroyed.

Case in point, the ‘Secondhand’ part of Tavi’s post brought me along with my thinking, but I only articulated it today with science revision. Ironic. Others that mention this, like Medine’s from ago, the whole concept of Touch and books I have not read yet. Reading the Buzz Bissinger overshare (refreshing as honesty is the best policy) made me connect with the worse, constricting side of blogging, like an addiction.

  • Blogging is a submission to past, present and future nostaligia, in the way that his shopping addiction is submitting to another persona and a mental sexual state of nostalgia.
  • The loneliness of bedroom blogging and oxymoronic yearning to go places, literally and metaphorically.
  • The ascent, 1980s, / descent, 2000s, of the virtual merge with reality, and importance over reality in some cases. Definitely not in my life, as I need to talk and paralinguise with my friends plus shopping in a great store is the greatest, really.
  • Bloggers becoming focused on what they want after their real/relative success: like Ophelia (always reminds me of that Millais painting in the Tate Britain) now with her videographic manifesto. I commented “The video is beautiful, perfection in imperfection. It totally epitomises the holiday, neither here nor there, confused, lonely feeling that I’ve been feeling. The music is great. 🙂 ”
    Like Tavi, two years ago preceding the birth of Rookie magazine. I remember that day like yesterday, a little disheartened at less fashion but open to more possibilities. I thought this might have come at the prospect of many roads and possibilities offered to them. GCSE Options is my microcosm of this.*
  • I tend to think in songs, especially when reading or watching emotionally affecting pieces. In Like Someone In Love, I recite Like Someone In Love by Björk. While reading five years by Tavi, Five Years by Björk. I tend to think in Björk.

With this I come to the conclusion that new is seldom possible, but different and outstanding certainly are which I hope my blog will continue as an aspiration.**

*The incessant bulleting/listing comes via Highs and Low(e)s , this way of citing from Garance Doré and endless references of Tavi and her references.

**I’m thinking of getting a new theme, but haven’t found one yet that I like.


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